Broken
by mutantpenguins
Summary: All Roxas wanted was to be with Axel... even if that meant fading into oblivion. Roxas/Axel, rated T for safety and a very much angsting Roxas.


Yes, Ember came back to play in Kingdom Hearts. No, this one's not nearly as happy as Destiny was. This is actually Ember's first true attempt at unresolved angst. Please let her know how she did.

With that said, yes, this is angsty. Tissues will probably prove a valuable commodity.

Ember probably won't be back to play at all on for a while. This would be because she plans to be writing an original piece of work in November (goodness help her) and post it on the mutant penguins livejournal, to be found at www. mutant-penguins. livejournal. com (without the spaces, obviously). So check that out while you wait for more fanfiction. It'll be a wild ride.

* * *

Broken

A Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction

Sora, Donald, and Goofy had been surrounded by Nobodies in mere seconds within the tunnel they were traveling in. Ordinarily this would have been no difficulty for the seasoned warriors, but these Nobodies numbered easily in the hundreds, maybe even the thousands. There were just too many Nobodies and not enough of them.

Suddenly, when the Nobodies had first arrived, a strange man had appeared. He was tall, with long red hair and piercing green eyes, his black cloak clearly branding him as a member of Organization XIII, and he had chastised the three for their lack of movement. He began to help fight them off, but it was soon evident that their efforts were futile.

This Nobody, however, was adamant that Sora go on and find the friend of his he had originally kidnapped, no matter what it took.

Donald and Goofy, soldiers though they were, could only look on as the strange Nobody with the vivid red hair launched the fiercest attack they had ever seen, defeating all the Nobodies at once and then collapsing.

They could only look on as Sora ran to his side and they talked briefly.

They could only look on as a young man with spiky blond hair took the place of their friend in a flash of light.

~*~*~

Roxas couldn't take the seeming imprisonment in Sora's heart any longer. Axel was dying, and he couldn't just let things end that way. Axel was too important.

He had made the mistake of walking away from Axel. He had made the mistake of letting Axel go that last time. He was not going to make the same mistake when maybe he could save the older Nobody this time.

"Axel…" he whispered, one hand reaching out to touch his beloved's face.

Axel smiled. "So I do get to see you one last time, Roxas." His expression was peaceful, far too peaceful for Roxas' liking. He was losing his red-haired love, and soon.

"Don't talk like that, you idiot!" he said fiercely, bending down and pressing his lips to Axel's for what felt far too much like the last time.

The redhead kissed him back softly, weakly lifting a hand and ruffling his dirty blond spikes. "You really do make me feel like I have a heart, you know," was his only reply.

Tears flooded Roxas' crystalline blue eyes. "I know." This was it. There was absolutely no way to save Axel, not this time, he realized as he took Axel's hand in his own. Unable to take it anymore, he flung himself down beside Axel, embracing the Nobody as his form disappeared into nothingness entirely.

It was too late. Axel was gone.

The next things Roxas knew were a terrible agony and the feel of something in his chest shattering into a million pieces like a dropped piece of glass, fragments embedding everywhere and causing more pain. Tears flooded from his eyes, and he curled on himself into a ball lying on his side, left hand clenched over where his heart should have been.

"I love you," he whispered brokenly into the nothingness.

More than anything, he wished he could be with Axel again. More than anything, this body that was his but not felt like a trap.

"Is this what it feels like to have a heart?" he wondered aloud bitterly. "I should find Xemnas and tell him to just give up on Kingdom Hearts. It's not worth it for this."

He paused briefly, biting back a sob, and continued his agonized monologue.

"I said a long time ago that Sora needed me. I told you I had to leave. But I don't think he does, not anymore. He has his memories, and a broken Nobody would be of little worth.

"I wish more than anything right now just to disappear like you. Maybe I'd find you again, or maybe nothingness is simply oblivion. Either option seems better than this right now. But Sora won't let go of me. His heart's a prison, or it feels like one right now. Once you're in, you can never get out. He clings too hard."

Roxas clenched his eyelids shut. He could no longer stand looking at the empty space beside him where Axel had once been.

"I should get up, move away from here. Maybe then I could fix this heart just enough for Sora to take over without my disappearing. Maybe that could be my form of oblivion. But you know what, Axel? I can't. I can't move at all. I can't even stop talking to you, even though I know you're gone. How pathetic is that?"

He laughed, but there was no humor in it. Then he could no longer hold back a pained sob.

Once one came, another followed. He had allowed himself to cry, and there was absolutely no going back, he realized as he laughed maniacally between bursts of tears.

Was this what insanity felt like? Roxas didn't know. He couldn't know anything beyond an enormous sense of loss and a hole where his heart had once lain whole. He didn't even know how long he remained there before the sobs began to abate, not because he felt any better, but simply because he had no more tears left.

For a long time still Roxas didn't move. He was far too weak to get up and lose his last link with his loved one.

This passageway between worlds was simply a blur to him, not that the things ever really made much sense to begin with. He couldn't even tell if he was alone or if more Nobodies were coming up behind him. If they were he would welcome them with open arms and a bared neck. Anything was better than this existence.

Just then, he felt a lock release and the passageway begin to fade. He smiled dimly, though there was little joy in it. Sora had relinquished his iron grip. He was free to fall into nothingness behind Axel, hoping either for reunion or oblivion for his broken soul.

~*~*~

When Sora woke up they were in a new world, dark and cold and unfeeling. Skyscrapers with neon lights surrounded them, and a light rain fell continuously onto his face.

"Sora, you're awake!" Goofy exclaimed.

"Yeah, I guess. What happened?"

Donald took over the explanation. "Well, that Nobody Axel sacrificed himself for us, and all of a sudden you weren't… you. Whoever it was, he was really upset, and after a while he disappeared and you were there again. Who was that?"

"Roxas," Sora whispered, though he wasn't sure how he knew the name. All he knew was that somehow he felt fundamentally broken.


End file.
